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Jan. 1st, 2007 | 02:06 pm

hey you guys. i have my new lj now. it is blatteroon

(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2006 | 02:46 pm

okay so i caved and made another cd. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. not only was cd 1 lacking in any lupe fiasco or "rock n roll is bitchin", I FORGOT SEXYBACK.
which is possibly a crime against humanity.
so just to keep myself out of trouble, i made another cd. another 76 minute cd, to be precise, so i now have about two hours and forty minutes worth of danceable popular music. this is why i have so many loving friends.

(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2006 | 02:33 pm
tickling my ears with: neutral milk hotel - april 8th


holy CRAP. them kicks... gah.. i'm rendered speechless. those are actually even sweeter than the adidas kicks whose children i wanted to bear a month or two back.
oh yeah so let's look over my list of things to do. soo.. watched an episode of the oc? word, my friend! burned megaepiccd? word, my friend! although i must say, said megaepiccd did not turn out quite to my liking, because it turns out when i say "mega epic" i mean MEGA epic, with about 104 minutes of music. sadly, my discs only take on about 80, so i had to mercilessly cut songs until it all fit. this was kind of like choosing which seven of my children i would like to drown. it was not a great experience.
now, time to get on with the changing my clothes and essay part. or i could also just go and read some more in my book.

(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2006 | 11:33 am
tickling my ears with: citizen cope - d'artagnan's theme

despite my usual aversion to snow and cold weather, i can't help but appreciate how beautiful it looks outside right now. the way the blue sky looks next to the vast clean white stretches beyond my house reminds me of winter in boston, sledding at the skyline playground, blowing my nose on my fleece mittens and hot cocoa and a picture book. and i guess i'd rather have my face turn pink and my glasses fog than be sweating and slowmoving. 
by the way, i think i'm going to start a new journal tomorrow, my one mark of the new year. i've had this one for two years and i think it might be easier to go back and look at my emotional teen-tastic phases if they're somewhat seperated. 
this year:
discovering more new music, specifically indie. most of my favorite cds this year were from the 90s, actually, and while i remain a huge pop punk and emo fiend, i'm so happy that i also have bands like neutral milk hotel in my harem of compact discs. sufjan stevens, an obsession with death cab, built to spill, be your own pet, rilo kiley, et cetera -- i believe all of the above were result of 2006. in a way, i have become more adult. in another way, i am still moving backwards into the position of the childlike highschooler, the one who could be considered a puritan with the conspicuous absence of alcohol and boys from her life. i went to nerd camp, which was one of my favorite things i've done as of late. i went to europe, which was interesting, to say the least. i saw arctic monkeys, motion city soundtrack, nofx, the starting line, bob dylan with the raconteurs, hellogoodbye, and went to warped tour.  i read some awesome books. i had some awesome laughs (remember turkmenistan? the jew freakout session? countless others i have now forgotten?). i avoided large piles of homework. i developed obsessions with pinkisthenewblog.com and jason schwartzman and read even more fashion magazines than ever before. i didn't get a boyfriend. yup, folks, it was quite a year.
so i have about six hours before i attend a dinner party to ring in the new year, the kind of dinner party that will be heavy on the desserts and light on the "exciting" behavior of normal teenagers. but i like it that way. two thousand sex (as we christened it last year) was not all that sexy, but undoubtedly two thousand seven should be pretty cool. let's reverse global warming and kiss boys and start a band and get better at being ourselves.
in the meantime, i need to start my women's studies esssay (finish my women's studies essay?), burn a mega awesomeness of 06 dance party cd, get dressed and read some more in my book. oh, and i need to wash my pants pretty bad.

(no subject)

Dec. 30th, 2006 | 11:01 pm

hey my dazzling little babies, join the japanese club. you know how we get the u32 renews? and on the front page of the latest issue there is an article in which keith "go ___ raiders" gibson raves about the new era of u32? and inside there are many grammatical errors to be found? okay, well, in the community connections section you will find a little square box advertising the japanese club. i know, i know, community connections is SOOOO seventh grade.. but come on. JAPANESE?!?? with emily smith, the coolest multilingual thirtysomething teacher who hails from a town where people say "wicked mint", AND ME? i know. sounds pretty irresistable, huh?
so all of you are basically already signed up for that.
i'm getting sick, which is awesome. i have o valencia permastuck in my head, which is awesome. i saw for your consideration, which was pretty decent. it had a brief john krasinski cameo during which i had to restrain myself from leaping out of my seat and yelling "THAT'S JIM FROM THE OFFICE!!!". fortunately, his hair was looking rather short and slicked back, which is not the most attractive look for him, so i was able to contain myself. it's also a pretty funny movie. i love parker posey. 
i'm contemplating going to sleep, but my room is so gross right now and i feel that the terrible feng shui of the mess will prevent me from sleeping well. it took me about three days to finally find my capo and everywhere i turn there's underwear (possibly belonging to my friends?) slung over furniture. 
it feels weird to be making this huge fanfare about 2006 and its impending demise, which is why my journal has been without top tens and nostalgic best moments ofs and other usual end-of-the-year suspects. i hate that the new year begins halfway through the school year, because it always gets these ideas of reinvention into my head when it would be wholly unrealistic for me to show up at school on tuesday with a new look and/or attitude. i will probably be the same as always, with my stifling inability to meet new people and newfound apathy towards schoolwork and tendency to talk about nothing important for twenty minutes straight, barely letting my peers get their own opinions in. as you can tell, i'm practically wriggling with excitement for my return to school. it's strange to think that merely months ago i was getting overwhelmed with the joy of knowledge at cty, excelling in my college-level polysci class and having no problem with dense readings that used words like "fungibility". now i'm kind of an idiot and my main talent is using indie music and fashion magazines as means of escapism so i can ignore my homework until the last possible second (the last possible second at times occuring in the minutes before class).
so how's THAT for a livejournal update ftw?

(no subject)

Dec. 30th, 2006 | 05:55 pm
tickling my ears with: tv on the radio - wolf like me

christmas at the paynes'  was a little bland, a little boring, a little too much talking about isa's pending college applications. my cousin eli, the only member of the family close to me in age, had opted to stay in new york with my uncle andrew, arguably my favorite relative, even if it's only by marraige. the rest of the gang mostly ignored me, and i'm not sure if  this was good or bad. i like to think that when i'm older i will have a boyfriend or husband with this amazing extended family, big and warm and hilarious, that will embrace me as something special and we will visit for thanksgiving or christmas or hannukah, as the case may be, and they will ask me questions about my life that imply that i am worthy and successful. they will dote on me and maybe knit me sweaters and i will pretend to be embarassed but secretly adore them for being a group into which i seamlessly fit. 
last night i got insomnia worse than i've had it in a while. i literally tossed and turned for upwards of an hour on the couch in the small television room of my grandparents' house, waiting for my eyelids to feel heavy and taking note of the way patches of curtains let an abstract pattern of light form on the walls and bookcase. at one point, my mom woke up and asked me how many people there were sleeping in the room (just me and her) and where everyone else was, similar to my deep-sleep ravings, a moment where you know your parents are not just that. they exist for themselves and not for you. they were once young.
and then in the morning it snowed, the light dancing flakes of medium size that abound in twentysomethingdegree weather and build up in drifts on the ground, leaving only short stubs of grasses and weeds peeking through the blanket awkward and unattractive. i read my new book, special topics in calamity physics, which is an excellent but wordy and dense novel, and decided that i need to be smarter. i spent the car ride home feeling angry at the world, hoping that my mother would pick up on this, what with my refusal to small talk and decision to play the moon and antarctica when it was my turn for music, which is an obvious choice for the depressive teen. much to my dismay, her inquiries were limited to an "are you okay" that was distinctly lacking in spirit and only led to a tight-lipped "i'm fine". it's one of those things where you're just waiting for them to show they want to know before you go whining about your older sister and relatives and the fact that your requests for a brief stop on the way home were quickly outweighed by those of your brother's. 
i'm home now, though. my thoughts on saddam hussein can be found in the comments on mel's second to latest entry, i believe? i'm having premature feelings of panic about my uncompleted homework, which should lead to a fun-filled new year's. my feet are fucking freezing. i doubt my parents will follow up on their promises of taking me to see the good shephard. i hope 2007 leads to a paradigm shift in the way i choose to live my life.

(no subject)

Dec. 29th, 2006 | 02:16 pm

a few interesting things about my life
-i'm downloading three john mayer songs, just to prevent myself from coming across as cool or something
-as previously noted, i will be in new hampshire until sometime tomorrow. i will probably come back feeling fat and at odds with my extended family. 
-the white stripes have this weird way of sounding like the beatles. 
-i really need to do some of my homework.
-i also need to start improving on the guitar rather than exclusively learning songs with one of six different chords. butt.
-i miss james brown.
-the second season of the oc is really, really addicting.
-probably this is the last post of 06 that won't be entirely best of lists and gross amounts of nostalgia. sigh.

everything is beautiful here
it's spinning circles around my ears

i'd go the whole wide world

Dec. 28th, 2006 | 11:22 pm

i went back and deleted a few pointless entries that no one cared about in order to feel less shameful about making my fifth entry today. i guess i have lots of random pointless things to say. also, i'm not tired, and i'm trying to save my magazines until i go to new hampshire tomorrow, soo getting all talkative on your asses is probably a good way to occupy my time.
basically i'm making this entry because i have so much new music and i can't not talk about it just a little bit. mostly i want to talk about this one song, "whole wide world" by wreckless eric, because it is so. good. it's catchy. the singer is raspy. the lyrics are unintelligible. it seems sweet. IT HAS HANDCLAPS. good lord, there is nothing not to like about it, and i thank rachel for allowing me to possess such an awesome song. i'm going to listen to it for the third time in a row just so when i try to sleep it will be stuck in my head and i will be happy. 
so i'm sorry to be so lame and, you know, thea-y. and this isn't really in reference to any particular event, but just me being who i am and you being the kind of person who for whatever reason has wound up reading this. i know i'm a major pain in the ass. it's cool.
 i'm taking a break from here and going to new hampshire. hopefully this will go well and i will not come back feeling all resentful of my extended family, although i wouldn't count on anything. i'm excited for seeing fall out boy (read: leaving the area), getting a dress to wear to crystal ball, ordering cds with my gift certificate, having an opportunity to try out this whole new "living my life" concept, all of the makeover issues of magazines (this is the time of year that allure really is useful), and being able to wear my flannel shirt again tomorrow. i could wear my flannel shirt every day for  whole month. it is probably one of the most perfect shirts ever. it can do woodsman chic with a pair of plainass jeans and some boots, serious punk rock with a studded belt nofx shirt and chucks, or hipster awesomeness with skinny jeans a waist belt and moccasins. also, it's from ll bean, which ups the cool factor of any article of clothing by about fifteen thousand cool points. one of my appliances is making a strange sound. maybe i should ask my mom about that before i go crazy.
i'd go the whole wide world, i'd go the whole wide world, i'd go the whole wide world

(no subject)

Dec. 28th, 2006 | 06:07 pm

getting out of the house was a good idea. today poetry was not entirely a hassle, especially when we went on a spontaneous pizza trip and rode up to the intersection blasting lady sov with the windows down and laughing our white asses off while everyone looked up like "wtf? it's four in the afternoon, you're driving a honda, half of you have braces and we live in montpelier." i wanted to have a big second sunset slumber party and say witty things all night long. 
so i'm ripping the cds rachel gave me today, except i'm pissed off at my computer because now that i'm actually listening to the moon and antarctica, i realize that it labeled the songs wrong - tiny cities made of ashes is a pretty distinctive song, and i would assume that a tune with a hook that involves those words would not be titled perfect disguise. so i guess i'll have to relabel them. sucks.
i think sometimes i feel claustrophobic in my own life. kind of like what emma was saying, i'm not really making the most of my teenagerdom. on the plus side, however, i'm finding this modest mouse cd to be far more enjoyable than good news for people who love bad news. it appeals to my inner (outer?) depressed hipster. i love bands with male singers that do the weird jerky shouty vocals, like the lovely feathers. it's weirdly pleasing to listen to a voice that's rhythmic and unexpected. 
sorry for the update attack. i'm going to go try to live my life now.

pull over the van, let me out.

Dec. 28th, 2006 | 12:14 pm
tickling my ears with: against me - miami